


Rough Morning

by domini_moonbeam



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: AU, Aged-Up Character(s), Attempted Murder, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bar Fight, Get Together, Handcuffs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Morning After, Rough Sex, Sex, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:48:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28976133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domini_moonbeam/pseuds/domini_moonbeam
Summary: He Tian wakes up after a drunk night in bed with a man he doesn't remember. All of that might have been okay, except the other guy is covered in bruises and cuffed to the headboard.
Relationships: He Tian/Zhan Zhengxi (19 Days)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Standalone. AU. Separate from my other fics.
> 
> No one asked me for this but it happened anyway. I love these two. I'm not sure I really have a favorite pairing in this fandom, all of them are amazing.
> 
> If you have an prompt feel free to send it my way on [tumblr](https://dominimoonbeam.tumblr.com/)!

He Tian woke slowly, like pushing his way up from mud for air.

Fuck. His head hurt. He tried to open his eyes and winced back from daylight, throwing an arm across his face to shield his eyes against a bicep. His whole body was sore, his muscles aching. He stretched, realizing he was on a bed and naked. He wasn’t even all the way up the bed, legs hanging off the end.

It wasn’t exactly the first time he’d woken up in a haze the morning after a party, but it never got less uncomfortable. Every time it happened he mentally swore he’d never drink that much again. He was a liar.

He rolled onto his side, away from the source of daylight—probably a window. He blinked, vision clearing and focusing on the thigh in front of his face. He stared at it, lean muscled and male, a hand shaped bruise beginning to show on that light skin. He Tian didn’t move, gaze sliding higher, up a hip to the torso reclining on the pillows. More bruises, the kind made by knuckles, pressed over ribs. The body moved subtly—inhale and exhale, and He Tian started at his own relief. He sat upright fast enough to make his head throb and his vision swim.

The stranger in bed with him winced when the bed bounced. He was naked too, and for long seconds He Tian just took in the sight of him. Not his nudity—though he was definitely attractive—but the fact that He Tian had no memory of him at all. And he wasn’t just a naked guy in his bed, he looked like he’d been roughed up. Another bruise was coming up along his cheekbone, there was blood crusted in the corner of his mouth, and a ring of bruises around his neck. Hand-shaped bruises.

He Tian scrambled off the bed, stomach lurching. He liked putting his hands on his lovers necks. He always had. He gawked at the man on the bed, for the first time realizing he was handcuffed to the top bar of the headboard. His reeling thoughts stuttered over the jolts of pain in his own body. He was sore all over and glancing at the wall-mounted mirror, he saw that his own lip was busted, his jaw bruised, and a few more scrapes and knuckle shadows marked his torso and arms. Had they fought? Jesus, had he attacked this guy and he fought back? His head was spinning, one hand clamping down on his forehead. No. No. He wasn’t that person. Yeah, sure, he could get rough, but never this bad and never when the other person wasn’t into it.

“Who the fuck are you?” a voice croaked and He Tian’s attention whipped back to the bed.

The blond was awake, dark blue eyes bleary. He kicked at the bed, sitting up higher either to get his bearings or to get farther from He Tian. He winced in pain and then startled when he realized his right wrist was cuffed to the bed. His eyes flared wide, first looking at his own hand and tugging hard to test the binding and then twisting to stare at He Tian like he was a giant snake ready to strike. “What the fuck did you do to me?” He jerked at the headboard again. “Uncuff me!”

“I didn’t do anything to you!” He Tian snapped back, not at all sure he was telling the truth. “I don’t even know you!” At least that part was true.

The blond struggled with the headboard again, the cuff clanking against the metal bar. When it didn’t give, he tried forcing his wrist out of it. He Tian took an involuntary step closer, seeing the circle of dark bruises and scraped open skin already swelling that wrist from the night before. “Shit. Stop. I’ll find the key,” he said, turning to look around the hotel room. Their clothes were tossed all over the place, along with empty bottles and take-out wrappers. He found his own pants and pulled them on, digging into the pockets and silently praying the key wasn’t there. Not that he didn’t want to find it—he definitely did—he just didn’t want to think he was the one that cuffed this guy to that headboard.

Another jolt of pain shot up his spine when he bent to search the floor, making him pause and look back at the guy on the bed. He Tian raised an eyebrow at the blond. “Did you fuck me?” he asked, because he was pretty sure _someone_ had fucked him last night. He had a vague memory of being bent over that desk in the corner, of a hand gripping his hair and teeth in his shoulder. Yes, he remembered that. He stood up and twisted to look at himself in the mirror, grabbing at his shoulder to not only see but feel the deep mark this guy had left in his skin. He hadn’t broken skin, but he’d been damn close. The memory solidified and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment. They’d still been mostly dressed, stumbling into the room, losing their jackets and shirts between violent kisses with too much teeth.

The blond had turned him and pushed him over the first surface they reached, working his pants down his hips. He Tian shivered, remembering it. Had they ever talked? How the fuck had they even met?

“What’s your name?” the stranger asked, his voice trying to be steady now.

He Tian opened his eyes and looked at the guy, wondering if he remembered the desk too. Did he remember ploughing him against it? Did he remember biting into his shoulder? “He Tian.”

The blond nodded, still naked, still cuffed to the headboard. “Zhan Zhengxi.”

He Tian dragged a breath, staring at him, trying to remember more. “Do you remember anything?”

Zhengxi’s gaze flicked to the desk in the corner and back to him, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

He Tian relaxed a little at that wicked twist of lips. He dragged a hand through his hair, gaze flicking over the blonde’s body again. “If I did any of that, I’m sorry…”

Zhengxi shrugged once, tightly. “You’re not looking great yourself.”

He Tian went back to looking for the key to the cuffs, wondering if the blonde’s response might have been less forgiving if he wasn’t very much at the mercy of a complete stranger in a hotel room. He was obviously trying to stay calm—trying to hide how freaked out he was being cuffed to the headboard.

He Tian found the guy’s underwear and tossed them to him. The blond huffed something like a thanks and started squirming into them with one hand. He Tian tried not to watch. He had searched every piece of clothing and every surface. He’d even given the bathroom a once over and checked all the drawers and cabinets, even the mini fridge. The key wasn’t here. Fuck. He flexed his hands at his sides, trying not to look at how red his knuckles were from hitting someone. He really didn’t like to think he’d been the one to leave those bruises on this guy’s face and side. Grabbing too hard and even the choking were one thing, but punching? He Tian had never punched anyone he slept with before.

He returned to the bed, pulling the covers off and shaking them out.

Zhengxi realized his search for the key was getting closer and hissed, twisting around to start grabbing at pillows and shaking them out with his one mobile hand—panic starting to set in again.

“It’s going to be okay,” He Tian tried to calm him.

Zhengxi let out a tight laugh. “Yeah, you’re not the one cuffed to the bed, man.” He lifted the last pillow and froze.

He Tian looked at the black metal shape on the white bed. The gun had been under the pillow. He swore under his breath at the sight of it. Was the safety even on? What the fuck had they been doing? He took a step toward the bed and the blond jolted, hurling the pillow at him and baring his teeth. He Tian caught the pillow and froze. Okay, yes, he could see how this had just gotten worse for Zhengxi. He Tian did not remember carrying a gun last night but it wasn’t out of his wheelhouse. He supposed the blond wasn’t used to waking up cuffed to beds and finding a gun in the mix.

He Tian dropped the pillow and held up his hands as if the blond had picked up the gun and pointed it at him—maybe because he wanted to avoid exactly that happening. The man definitely looked like he would snatch up the weapon if He Tian twitched in its direction again.

Zhengxi swallowed hard. “Is this some kind of game?” he finally asked, voice still steady. It was impressive as hell. He Tian knew mobsters that would start crying if they were pushed this far under a hangover.

“No. All I remember is us fucking around. I don’t…I don’t remember the cuffs or…”

“Is it yours?” Zhengxi demanded, chin nudging in the direction of the gun.

He Tian didn’t look at it, holding that gaze instead. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” the blond growled.

“I don’t remember. But it could be.”

Zhengxi bared his teeth. “Fuck you, man. Get out of here.”

He Tian almost laughed. “You want me to leave you like this? Cuffed to a bed with a gun in the room?”

The blond looked like he was about to say ‘yes’ but thought better of it, glancing at the gun again.

“I’ll put it on the bedside table—” He Tian started, thinking he was being reasonable, but Xi bared his teeth again.

“Fuck that. Don’t touch it!”

He Tian stayed put. “You really want to leave it on the bed with you?”

Zhengxi shot him an impressive glare, and then glanced around. He stretched as far as his cuff would let him and He Tian winced at how that metal pulled at his dark purple wrist. The blond opened the drawer of the bedside table on the far side, in the corner and then he picked up the gun and set it inside. He didn’t handle it with the comfort of someone who used a gun, but he wasn’t skittish about it either. He closed the drawer and settled back in his spot with his back to the headboard, staring at He Tian. “Don’t try to get it,” he warned, like he really could do something about it if He Tian tried.

He Tian wasn’t sure what that could be, and yet he felt certain this guy had a plan if he was pushed.

“Okay. Done,” He Tian agreed and then he sighed. “The key isn’t here. Can I take a look at the headboard? I might be able to get it apart.”

Zhengxi looked like he would decline him that nearness before finally sighing as well and nodding.

He Tian neared slowly, standing beside the bed and examining the headboard and where the cuff was attached. He hadn’t come this close to Zhengxi since jumping out of the bed earlier. His fingers brushed the cuff linked to the headboard. He remembered clicking it into place. He remembered drinking moans from this man’s mouth when they were both naked and on this bed, after the blond had already come once inside him. He could still hear the man’s breathy groans, goading him on when they switched roles. He remembered pulling at Zhengxi’s thighs, dragging him down the bed until he was stretched out, bound to the headboard. And then he started fucking him, mesmerized by the way his hips twitched every time he sank into his body.

Here and now, the next morning, He Tian’s fingers brushed that abused wrist.

Zhengxi jerked, hissing when he only managed to pull at that cuff again. His eyes were big and sceptical, honed on He Tian.

He Tian withdrew his hand, about to offer some apology or maybe try to explain what he remembered of their night, when someone knocked at the door.

They both froze, first blinking at one another.

Finally, He Tian stepped back and went to the door. At least it wasn’t within eyeline of the bed so no one would see Zhengxi there, otherwise He Tian was pretty sure he’d be looking at getting arrested for, at the very least, abduction and assault.

He opened the door, expecting housekeeping or maybe room service but instead staring at an almost familiar face with a bandaged broken nose and black eye. All at once, He Tian remembered everything.

The club last night. Brushing by the blond the first time at the bar, making eye contact and catching that half-smirk. He didn’t exactly look like He Tian’s type. Sure, he was hot, but at first glance he’d been too clean, too _guy-next-door_. Maybe that was why He Tian hadn’t made a move right away. He’d liked that smirk, but that had been the end of it— _would_ have been the end of it if a brawl hadn’t broken out in the club and there in the midst of the chaos, he’d seen that _guy-next-door_ again. Only now he was holding his own against three larger men and still wearing that fucking, amazing, smirk. It didn’t even waver when one scooped him up from behind while another threw punches into his ribs.

Zhengxi threw his head back, cracking one guy in the nose—the guy at the door now—and landed on his feet, kicking the second man in the balls and sending him to the floor. But the guy with the now broken nose still wasn’t letting go, still wasn’t moving on. No, he was hellbent on getting a hold of Zhengxi. So determined, that he pulled a gun from inside his jacket and raised it—spitting words He Tian couldn’t catch in the crowd. But He Tian closed in fast from the side, tackling the guy to the floor, his head thumping back against the floor and his eyes finally closing. He picked up the gun when he stood back up, not sure what he wanted it for but definitely not wanting this asshole to have it. When he’d turned to look for the blond, he had been right there waiting, lip busted but grinning at him all the same.

The whole club seethed in a violent uproar around them but He Tian only cared about that one stranger. His blue eyes swam with something like wonder that made He Tian feel warm—feel something. The blond, Zhengxi, reached out slowly, fingertips ghosting up He Tian’s chest and neck, eyes watching carefully to clock his reactions. And then that hand, with red knuckles, grabbed He Tian’s jaw and dragged him forward to meet him. They collided in the middle of deafening chaos, nipping at each other’s broken lips and sucking then sucking to sooth. Bodies rolled against one another, strong arms grabbing and pulling. When they heard the sirens of cop cars, He Tian took the blond by the wrist and they bolted for one of the back exits.

They ran until they were blocks away, winded and wasted and still so eager for more. Zhengxi had suggested a hotel room. He Tian had nodded and thrown an arm over his shoulders, leading the way. They stopped by a convenient store on the way because Zhengxi was sure they’d need snacks and water at some point. The blond had plans. And he hadn’t been wrong. As soon as they’d gotten into the room, they’d been back to making out and He Tian had ended up bent over the desk, being fucked and stroked until they both came for the first time that night—but not the last. In between they talked, ate, and laughed. They talked about shit He Tian had never talked to anyone about. It was easy with Xi. Everything about last night had been so easy.

“Shit,” he barely got the word out when a barrel pointed in his face.

The man with the broken nose gave a half-smirk, half-wince. He took steps forward and He Tian took steps back, arms out to his sides to keep things calm. He had asked Xi about this guy last night. He remembered all of it now. The guy had been coming on to him for a while, not just at this club but at several, and when the fight broke out he decided it was a good time to make a move—trying to drag Xi out the back.

“What—” Zhengxi started, his question choking him when he saw the guy and then the two thugs that followed him into the now very crowded hotel room. “Oh, fuck,” he hissed, trying to stand up on the bed now, pulling violently at the cuff.

The stalker’s eyes lit up at the sight of Xi stuck. He Tian would have taken the chance to knock him out if his goons hadn’t moved in, a new gun pointed at him and another guy grabbing him by the arm. The stalker wasn’t even looking at him anymore, grinning at Xi instead.

He waved a hand back at them, putting his gun down on the desk and shrugging out of his jacket.

The thugs started shoving He Tian out of the room. His heart beat in his throat. He caught another look at Xi before he was pushed into the hallway. The blond had been frantic, swearing and spitting and cutting his abused hand on the metal in his effort to escape. He was wild, like an animal in a snare—because he was in a snare. He Tian had left him in one. They had found the handcuffs in a drawer of kinky sex stuff. Zhengxi’s eyes had sparkled with mischief when he twirled them around a finger. _“One of us is getting cuffed to that bed,”_ he’d decided right then and there.

He was in the hallway but he could hear Xi screaming and then the abrupt silence of his voice that had to have come from a fist to the face.

His steps faltered because the guy with the gun shoved him to keep him moving toward the elevator. This hotel was such a dive that the lights blinked and no one even poked a head out a door to see what all the ruckus was about.

He should have taken him someplace better. Someplace with cameras in the halls and elevators that only went up with guest key cards. For fuck sake, his family owned three hotels in the city.

He Tian dragged a breath and forced it out in a bored huff, stopping near the elevator. “Can I get a cigarette? It’s been a fucked up morning,” he said, turning to look at the two men in suits. They looked almost as hungover as he felt. The one with the gun kept it on him but the other one took pity and pulled a pack from his pocket.

He Tian accepted the offered cigarette and the light, dragging a lungful of smoke. He was still wearing nothing but his jeans, barefoot on the cheap carpet. The elevator dinged. The doors opened. He slapped the gun to the side, put his cigarette out in one man’s eye and then elbowed the other in the face. The gun went off, burying a bullet in the wall. He Tian shoved the guy by his face into the nearest wall, slamming his skull three times before the guy’s legs gave out. He had the gun from his hands and was running back down the hall for the hotel room door.

He reached it just when a gun went off inside, sending ice down his spine.

No.

Silence.

Nonono.

He slammed his shoulder into the cheap door, cracking it in the frame. He walked in and lifted his gun, more than ready to shoot this fucker—more than a little terrified to see Xi bleeding out on that bed, still cuffed to it.

He aimed and Xi aimed back. For a second they blinked at one another and then they both quickly lowered their guns.

Zhengxi dragged a breath like he’d been drowning and dropped his weapon onto the bed, hand shakily coming up to his face and clawing at his hair. The drawer in the bedside table was open, pulled almost all the way out and hanging open. The stalker’s body was on the floor beside the bed, shirt off and pants open.

He Tian climbed up onto the bed and crouched over Xi, touching his hair gently, relieved when he didn’t jerk away. Did he remember everything now too? He gently thumbed his jaw, his cheek was red—would no doubt be turning purple in the next couple hours—and his split lip was open again. He Tian’s breath stuttered out of him when he realized Xi was naked again. “Did he...?” He Tian choked on the words, whispered close like it would only ever be between them.

Xi shook his head tightly and then snapped his head up to look at him. “He was going to. I had to shoot him!” he rushed to defend himself.

He Tian held his gaze, cupping the side of his neck because he didn’t dare press his palm to the fresh welts on his cheek. “I know. You did. You’re fine.”

Xi dragged deep breaths but it wasn’t helping, his gaze slid to the body on the floor. “Oh fuck,” he said, like it was all coming down on him.

He Tian had seen this plenty of times. This was the “oh shit, my whole life has gone to hell” freak out. “Keep breathing. I’ve got you. I’ll handle this,” he promised. First thing first, they had to get the fuck out of here. He stood up on the mattress, grabbed Xi’s arm and held it up, aiming at the chain of the cuffs. Before the blond could ask what he was doing, he shot it off and at least freed him from the bed. He dragged him to his feet and got them both dressed. Xi, somehow, was actually doing a pretty good job of not completely losing his shit.

He Tian patted the dead guy down and got his wallet.

“You’re robbing him?” Xi asked, sounding almost amused. It was the shock.

He Tian snorted. “It looks better if he’s been robbed. They’ll think he was fucking around in this hotel and a hooker decided he owed more than cash.” And, He Tian was going to want to know who this guy was when He Cheng asked.

The thugs were still recovering in the hallway near the elevators so He Tian grabbed Xi’s arm and they ran the opposite direction, finding the stairs and making a break out the back of the building. Not their first escape, but the first one in the daylight. They ran a handful of blocks, rain pouring down and seeming to hide them from scrutiny. It took him a while to find a convenient store with a phonebooth outside.

He Tian stood Xi with his back to the brick wall at the mouth of an alley, nudging his chin up to meet his eyes. He was lost in thought still, eyes darting back and forth as if going over everything again and again. “Hey. Stay right here okay?”

Xi blinked, immerging from his thoughts to stare back at He Tian. “You’re leaving,” he said rather than asked, like he understood.

He Tian laughed darkly and leaned in, kissing the rain and blood off his lips. He felt the blond relax a little against him, leaning back against the wall. He stroked his hair back from his face when he broke the kiss, meeting his gaze again. “I’m just getting us a ride out of here.” He pointed to the payphone. “You can see me the whole time.”

Xi nodded and then shrugged like he didn’t care. He Tian grinned because the guy was still trying to play it cool.

He used a payphone to call He Cheng. It was early. He wouldn’t be awake. It wasn’t surprising when Qiu answered, voice full of morning gravel. “Hnn…”

“I’ve got some trouble. I need a lift.”

“Where are you?” Qiu asked, awake now, clothing rustling in the background.

“Is it Tian?” he heard his brother’s voice on the other end, grumbly and sleepy. “Tell him to steal a fucking car or take the train…”

“I could steal a car if—”

“Where the fuck are you?” Qiu asked again and this time He Tian heard a lighter and a puff of smoke.

He gave him the street address.

“What’s the trouble?”

“I shot a guy. He had it coming. But he had some goons and I don’t know who he was.” He hadn’t really thought about it beforehand but he didn’t want anyone to know Xi had pulled the trigger. He’d probably never done anything like that before. Why put it on him now if this all went to shit?

Qiu gave him an ETA and hung up.

He Tian jogged back to Xi, who hadn’t moved from where he left him against a wall. He looked a little calmer now, still subconsciously clawing at that metal ring locked around his mangled wrist.  
He Tian caught his hands to stop him from doing more damage. His wrist was already torn open and bleeding down his fingers into the rain puddles.

Zhengxi stared up at him, eyes narrowing. “Why are you doing this?”

He Tian shrugged. “I remembered last night.”

Xi smirked a little, rain sliding off his jaw. “And I was such a good one-night stand that you decided to help me cover up a murder and…what? Take me home?”

He Tian smiled out of his own control. He hadn’t thought of it that way—hadn’t thought of it that far—but that was what he was doing. “Yes.”

Xi started, surprised and a little sceptical.

“Anyway, we still have to get that cuff off of you,” He Tian said. “And if you decide that after we shower and bandage you up, that you want to fuck around some more then that would be totally okay…” he added in a half-joke.

Xi smiled at that, dragging his gaze over He Tian as if deciding if he was interested. The shit actually shrugged but the smirk was still there. He was tired and battered and a little freaked out—but it was still there, that smirk from the club, the one etched across He Tian’s memory hopefully forever this time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was some interest in a second part to this so I did it! I really hope you enjoy it. This was so much fun to work on.

Zhengxi sat in the backseat of the big SUV trying really hard to pay attention to the conversation He Tian was having with the giant thug that had picked them up—trying not to let his thoughts wander back to the handful of minutes in that hotel room that might have completely fucked up his life.

He Tian passed the driver the stolen wallet. “We got into a fight last night at the club and this guy was pretty pissed about it. He busted into our hotel room this morning. I had to shoot him.”

Xi’s heart stopped and his vision blurred at the edges, head snapping to the side to stare at the dark haired man beside him. He looked so calm about it, like he was giving a friend a rundown of the night. Xi had first started when He Tian just casually mentioned them sharing a hotel room to this guy, but that had been forgotten the second he mentioned shooting the guy from the club. That wasn’t how it had happened. He Tian hadn’t shot him. Be Xi just stared, not sure if he should correct him or not—not sure who this other guy was or what they were doing.

Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten in the car. Maybe he should have walked away as soon as He Tian went to use the phone. But he was so far past okay and He Tian was the only person he didn’t actually want to get away from right now. And how had that happened? He’d only known this guy for a day—less than a full day. But he remembered last night now. It had been a really good fucking night. Was that really enough to explain why this guy was helping him now?

The guy driving flipped open the wallet, one hand still on the wheel. He snorted once and nodded, tossing it onto the seat beside him. “Ren. Mid-level drug runner. Shit starter.” He glanced at them in the rearview mirror and Xi met his gaze unintentionally. He held it only because he was stubborn, because he didn’t want this guy thinking he was some damsel He Tian had saved.

But maybe he was. Fuck.

“One of Cheng’s?” He Tian asked.

The driver snorted and returned his attention to traffic. They were working their way uptown.

“Do we have the spare keys in here?” He Tian continued, looking around the SUV like he might spot them.

Xi closed his eyes briefly, tired, and trying not to move or let his thoughts wander. But this conversation was one sided and only put more questions in his head. Subconsciously he slid his left hand to the cuff on his right, resisting the urge to try tugging it off again. His wrist throbbed pain, skin raw, bruised, and cut up. He’d thought for sure he’d pull the hand right off when He Tian had been escorted out of the room by thugs and Ren had looked at him with that fucking leer.

Ren was dead. He had killed him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Xi jumped, eyes bursting open when fingers brushed the back of his hand. He Tian stared back at him patiently, like he couldn’t see him cracking. Xi swallowed hard, jaw clenched so tight it ached. He just had to keep his shit together. Had to figure out what was going on. Had to keep himself from getting fucking arrested for—

His thoughts stilled when He Tian gently but firmly removed his grip on the handcuff he’d been twisting against his hand, trying to pull it off again without thinking. He moved Xi’s cuffed hand to his thigh and held the cuff, his other hand flicking through a ring of strange keys before finding a nubby little one and trying it. When it didn’t work he tried another. Xi stared, almost holding his breath, not realizing his fingers were flexing against He Tian’s thigh with every try. He exhaled when the cuff unlocked with a click. He Tian took it away, tossing it on the floor of the car and then the ring of keys into the front seat.

Xi didn’t realize he’d left his palm on the other man’s thigh until He Tian gently laid his own hand over his—pinning it there by the least force imaginable.

The car pulled into the underground parking garage of one of the luxury apartment buildings uptown, wedged between other skyscrapers. Who the hell were these people? Xi’s mind raced. He should get out of here. He should find a fucking way to just take off and—He Tian opened the door as soon as the car stopped, still holding his hand, and tugging him along out of the car.

“Do you want me to send over the doctor?” the driver asked, not turning off the car or making any move to get out too. And something about the way he said “the doctor” made Xi feel like he was talking about a specific person, like that was their name.

“I think we’re fine,” He Tian called back before snapping the door shut and leading Xi toward the elevators.

His heart jumped at the way this guy said “we”. It sounded important. It sounded solid. Like something you could bet on.

When they were alone in the lift, Xi took a breath and look at his hand still in He Tian’s. “Listen…” he started and forced himself to take his hand back. He was surprised how casually He Tian let him. “I’m sorry about getting you into all of this.” He hated having to apologize. It wasn’t like he’d planned for any of this shit to happen. It wasn’t like any of it had been bad until it ALL went bad. But he definitely felt like he had to say something since He Tian was doing so much for him. “I can bail and you can pretend you never saw me or…” He had to swallow when his thoughts drifted back to the room, to Ren, to the sound of the gun.

The elevator was still going up. He Tian stared at him for a second before answering, voice so steady that Xi could practically lean against it for support. “Whenever you want to leave, you can. But I’d like you to stay.” The elevator glided to a stop and the doors opened with a chime. Suddenly they were faced with a nice hallway rather than the concrete parking garage. He Tian held the door and waited for Xi to step off before following, leading down the hall to the only door. “And the way I see it, we’re equal partners in what happened.”

Xi followed him, curious now. “How do you figure?” he asked, trying not to think about the recoil of the gun or the way Ren’s body had jerked back into the wall and fallen.

He Tian punched a code into the keypad by the door and it unlocked. His apartment was big and open, windows looking out over the city. “Well, I took us to a shitty motel instead of someplace decent where murderers don’t just walk into your room in the morning,” He Tian thought aloud, kicking off his boots and waiting while Xi got out of his sneakers. “And I did cuff you to the bed.” There was a real note of regret when he said that.

Xi tried not to touch his fucked up wrist, or think about how he’d struggled against the cuff when Ren was on him. In fact, he tried to think about how good it had felt to be stretched out and restrained when He Tian was the one on him, and in him. “I think I remember asking you to cuff me…” he admitted, following him down the hall toward what he assumed was the bedroom. He wasn’t sure he was ready for another round just yet. In fact, he felt gross and like he needed a shower.

He Tian laughed. “You definitely asked me to. Practically begged me to.”

“Okay, let’s not get carried away…”

The bedroom matched the rest of the house, oversized and minimalistic. Luckily, He Tian didn’t jump onto the mattress and expect him to follow. Instead he turned into a bathroom and flicked on the lights. Xi froze when he followed a step in, catching sight of himself in the mirror. “Holy shit…” he inched closer, pushing the hood of his sweatshirt back. One side of his face was red, welted, and probably soon to turn purple. He did remember Ren’s fist coming down hard against his face, he had lost a couple minutes there. And he had a few already dark bruises from the brawl the night before.

“Yeah,” He Tian said with a sigh. “We need to clean up.” He squatted down and opened drawers, pulling out antiseptic and bandages. “Shower first and then we’ll see about the scrapes.”

Xi nodded, unzipping the hoodie and dropping it on the floor in the corner. His shirt followed and he winced at the bruises on his ribs. He stretched, looking at himself, ghosting a hand over the bruises on his neck shaped to match.

He froze, noticing He Tian watching him in the mirror. The guy suddenly looked unsure again, something grim in his eyes. He took a seemingly casual step back, toward the door. “Pretty sure those were me…Sorry.” He studied his reflection and then looked at the floor. “You can shower first.”

Xi remembered most of last night, some of it probably forever soaked in a liquor haze. “I remembered that part,” he admitted, catching his gaze and holding it in the mirror. Plenty of their sex last night had been rough but he’d never felt like he was in danger or doing anything he didn’t want to do. “It was hot.” And it had been. He Tian had had hands around his neck while he slowly fucked him, depriving him of air for stretches of time only to loosen and let him gasp a few times before tightening again. It had felt like it lasted forever.

He Tian relaxed, leaning against the doorframe with the smallest of smirks, like he too was remembering it.

“Your shower’s pretty big…we could share. If you want?” Xi hated how unsure everything seemed now. Did they know each other?

That smirk grew.

Xi bit the inside of his lip to keep from smiling back. He shouldn’t be having a good time, right? This should probably be the worst day of his life. He Tian pulled his shirt off, dropping it into the pile with Xi’s.

They were a matching pair when they stripped down, both coated in bruises. He Tian stepped into the shower first, turning on the water and hissing at the cold burst before the temperature warmed.

The shower really was big, but they still stood close, hovering around one another, orbiting without contact while their skin soaked heat. Xi felt the other man watching him when he leaned his head back into the spray, dragging fingers through the tangles of his hair. The water burned at his wrist but he didn’t care. When he scrubbed water from his face and stepped out of the water to give it trade off, the clean eucalyptus scent of soap filled his lungs. He Tian lathered soap in his palms, dark eyes still on Xi. He nudged his chin toward the wall. “Turn?”

It was definitely a question as well as an offer. Xi turned toward the wall, offering the other man his back. He wasn’t sure where this was going, or if he was up for it, but when He Tian’s hands connected with his skin he knew he’d go along with anything. Sure fingers rubbed down his spine and rolled circles into his muscles back up to his shoulders, into he sides of his neck and down his arm.

Xi groaned, eyes closing and forehead leaning to the cool stone wall. He was distantly aware he might fall asleep right there in the shower, maybe even crack his skull on the floor. At least it would be a contained mess.

“Do you remember everything?” He Tian asked, voice deep and close.

Xi hummed, those hands sliding up into his hair to clean away sweat and maybe even blood. It was like he was washing the whole last few hours away. “Most of it.” He knew He Tian was asking about the night before, their time together in that hotel room, but his mind tried to shove the memory of Ren to the front. His hands, his knuckles, the sound of the gunshot.

He Tian’s thigh brushed the back of Xi’s and he forgot Ren. He Tian pressed his chest to Xi’s soapy back and curled his arms around him, cleaning his chest down to his abdomen down to his thighs. Those dark eyes watched him carefully from the side when he reached between to wash his sex. Xi inhaled and dropped his head back against the other man’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He was only semi-hard, the contact and care so good but his mind and body worn thin.

To his surprise, and maybe relief, He Tian didn’t try to stroke him into a full erection. He curled his soapy arms around him and for a long minute they just stood like that in the shower steam, naked and pressed together. Xi had done a lot of things in his life, but never this.

Finally He Tian walked him into the spray of the shower, rinsing out his hair and chasing suds down his back and sides with his hands. A part of Xi was still waiting for him to make some move—to push him back up against the wall or to reach down and grab at him. They had been rough last night. It wouldn’t be out of place. But instead He Tian nudged him back off to the side, released him, and reached for the soap again.

Xi stared for a second, through the haze of his own exhaustion, and realized He Tian meant to clean himself up next. Xi had his shoulder leaned into the wall, his temple too. He wanted to reach out and stop He Tian—to repay the favor of being cleaned, but he couldn’t muster the energy. He was dead on his feet. All he could do was watch. That smirk pulled at the corner of He Tian’s mouth, like he knew it. “You can get out and dry off,” he said.

Xi shook his head and kept watching. He Tian was beautiful, the way deadly things are. The way wolves and snakes and fire are beautiful. “Can I sleep here?” he asked. He was pretty sure there had been talk of sleeping but his mind was hazy and he couldn’t remember what had been a real offer and what had been a joke.

“In the shower?” He Tian asked jokingly, rinsing off. “I recommend the bed. If you want one of your own there’s a guest room but I’m pretty sure my bed is better.”

Xi hummed. He meant to snort and roll his eyes but he was losing what energy he had fast.

He didn’t even remember getting out of the shower or drying off, but he had a towel over his head and clean underwear on that were not his. He sat on the bed, watching He Tian wrap his wrist, the disinfectant stinging. The only light in the room came from the bathroom, heavy curtains drawn against the day outside. He sighed relief when he couldn’t see the marks on his wrist anymore, just clean white bandage. Something in the sound made the other man frown, thumb stroking gently against the edge of the gauze and that gaze on his face. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked.

Xi nodded. “Tired.” He smirked when he climbed up the bed and finally collapsed, cheek to the pillow. “If you’re going to fuck me, don’t take my snoring as a critique,” he mumbled, eyes closed, and was rewarded by the rich sound of He Tian’s laughter.

The bathroom light went out, plunging them into darkness, and the bed dipped when the other man joined him, pulling the fluffy white comforter over them both. He draped an arm over Xi’s back, finger curling against his ribs. “As tempting as that is…I think I can wait until you’re at least awake.”

Xi hummed, unable to form words for a retort of any kind. He shifted, tangling their legs, and fell asleep.

He slept hard for long hours until those memories finally caught up to him, invading his dreams with the leering grin of Ren and the feel of that cuff tight around his wrist again. He was on that motel bed again, kicking at the sheets and trying to tear his own arm off to get away, Ren’s weight on top of him. In reality, Ren had hit him hard enough to make him see stars and loose time, but in the nightmare version he didn’t have to. In the nightmare version, Xi was just too weak to push him off. His hands were on him, touching like he was owed something, pulling the only clothing he had off with a grunt. In the dream version he didn’t get the chance to reach for the bedside table when Ren got up to undress himself. He didn’t get his hand on the gun or shoot Ren.

* * *

He Tian woke sharply to the twitch and jerk of the body against his side. He blinked in the dark, arm still around Xi, feeling his muscles tense and his legs kick. He was dragging breaths and choking on them. “Xi?”

He didn’t answer.

When he let out another thin sound in his chest, He Tian grabbed his shoulder and pulled him onto his back. Hovering over him, he cupped his face. “Xi, wake up,” he said loudly. “You’re dreaming.”

The blond inhaled sharply but didn’t wake, struggling instead.

He Tian clicked his teeth to keep from swearing but kept hold of the other man, straddling his waist to use his own weight to hold him down when he thrashed. “Wake up,” he nearly yelled.

Xi bucked and squirmed under him, holding his breath in long stretches.

“Xi, wake the fuck up!” He Tian yelled, curling over him to press their foreheads together.

He sucked down a deep breath and went still, tense as ever but not thrashing. He caught his breath, shaking, blinking up at He Tian in the dark.

He Tian swore in relief and lifted his head, still holding the sides of Xi’s face. He looked so confused, still in between whatever nightmare he’d been having and reality. “You’re okay,” he promised. “You know where you are?”

Xi swallowed but nodded.

He Tian sighed and slumped over onto his side next to him, one leg still across his thighs. “You really this torn up about shooting that asshole?”

“No,” Xi answered, coughing when his voice came out too brittle for his liking. “No. It wasn’t that.”

He Tian watched him taking deep breaths and staring up at the ceiling. One of Xi’s hands was on his thigh across his lap. “Tell me?”

Xi scrubbed his other hand over his face, pushing away anything that could be tears before they ever had the chance to fall. “Just before…After you were gone, before I got the gun. But then I didn’t get the gun.” He forced a shrug that somehow looked more like a cringe.

He Tian nodded slowly, wanting to reach out and touch him but suddenly not sure if he should.

Xi let out a huff as though expelling the whole thing. “Fuck. What time is it? Sorry I woke you,” he said. His hand tightened on He Tian’s thigh, pulling him closer until He Tian’s underwear clad crotch was pressed to his hip.

He Tian smiled. It wasn’t often he got manhandled. His fingertips explored the side of Xi’s neck again, tracing it down to his collarbone. In the deep shadows of the room, he couldn’t see his own bruises on that skin. He almost turned on the bedside lamp, wanting to trace them. “You can wake me up any time you want. And does it matter what time it is? Do you have some place to be?”

Xi laughed a little at that and shook his head before turning it to the side to look back at him in the dark, their faces so close. “No. It doesn’t matter,” he said, grabbing He Tian’s jaw like he had in that club in the middle of a brawl. He closed the space between them. The kiss started soft, curious, and grew needy, both of them using teeth and tongue. He Tian slid on top of him again, this time rolling his hips to grind their growing erections together.

Xi bit at his bottom lip and He Tian groaned. He wanted to fuck this guy and be fucked by this guy in every room of his apartment and in every way he could think of. He wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted anyone this badly. There was something electric in the way Xi not only moaned at He Tian’s rough grip on him but repaid it, ramping up to meet him like they were riding the same wave.

Xi squeezed his fingerprints into He Tian’s hips and bucked up under him, dry fucking him through their strained underwear. When He Tian finally couldn’t take it anymore, sure that if they kept this up they’d both be cuming in their fucking shorts, he tore his mouth from that searing kiss with a swear. Xi grinned like he’d won something.

He Tian slid back, hooking fingers into the other man’s boxer briefs and dragging them down his legs.

Xi scooted up, almost sitting against the headboard when He Tian stripped him down. He couldn’t take it anymore. He stretched to the side and flicked on one of the lamps, the light low but enough to really look at the blond, naked and flushed, kiss swollen lips parted to suck breaths and eyes blown with lust. He Tian groaned in the back of his throat and laid himself down between Xi’s legs, curling arms under his thighs and putting his mouth to work mapping his cock with lips and tongue.

Xi spasmed, the tremor felt through the palms He Tian had on his thighs. He took his time, until Xi sounded almost whiny over him, and then he finally wrapped his mouth around his cock and sucked him all the way to the root, swallowing him into his throat. Xi twitched and swore and arched against the headboard. “Fuck….fuckfuckfuck…” he ground out, one hand sliding into the back of He Tian’s hair.

Hearing the blond lose control was wildly gratifying. He Tian didn’t doubt his own sexual skills but he wanted so much to unravel this man.

“Fuck me,” Xi exhaled the words, something between a command and a request. “Fuck me like you did last night.”

He Tian moaned around his cock before popping it out of his mouth. He stroked it lazily, laying his cheek to Xi’s thigh and looking up at him like he had all the time in the world. And that was how it felt. He loved that feeling, like they were in a bubble outside of the rest of the world and time. “Which time?” he asked, licking his lips. He remembered at least twice clearly. He eyed Xi’s bruised neck, not sure he could take that again so soon.

Xi shivered, still sprawled for him and squirming against the headboard. But he swallowed like he was unsure before he rushed to say, “Tie me to headboard.”

He Tian’s hand missed a beat on his casual strokes of the cock still so close to his face. He stared up at Xi, brow pinching and lips quirking to one side. “Is that a joke?”

Xi looked away and then seemed to force himself to meet his gaze again. “If you don’t want to—”

“Tell me why,” He Tian pressed, sitting up hands stroking the insides of Xi’s thighs to keep him spread like that around him. Fuck, he was beautiful, lounging there, still semi-hard and breathing heavy like they did this all the time—like they’d been fucking each other for years not hours of their lives.

For a second he was sure the blond would lie or change the subject, he could see it in his eyes, and then he sighed, squirmed, and spoke. “I like it and I don’t want it to be ruined. When I think about it I think about that guy…and it sours it.”

He Tian nodded slowly, thumbs rolling circles against that soft, sensitive skin. “Okay.”

Xi looked surprised and then leaned forward and kissed him.

They made out for a while, up against the headboard, until they were both rock hard and rubbing against one another. “Rules…” He Tian ground out, breaking the kiss by giving Xi a little shove, pushing him up against the headboard. “Obviously, we’re using the other wrist,” he said, turning his face into the bandaged wrist of the hand still in his hair. He kissed it once before sliding off to the side to rummage through the bedside drawer. He always had a collection of things rolling around in here. He pulled out a bottle of lube and kept digging. “And pick a fucking safe word this time.”

Xi scoffed, almost sneering at the idea. He even kicked the lube away.

He Tian raised an eyebrow.

“Spit and go,” Xi returned, sounding very firm on the subject.

He Tian bit back a smile but shrugged, pulling a silk tie from the drawer and returning to Xi. “Probably even more reason for you to pick a safe word…”

Xi still had his back to the headboard, breath quickening a little when He Tian straddled his legs, unraveling the length of the tie. “Never imagined you for a tie guy,” he said, rather than choosing a word. His fingers hooked into the sides of He Tian’s boxer briefs, tugging them down his hips to his thighs to free his cock.

He Tian snagged his left wrist, the one not yet bandaged and pulled it up before he could continue touching with that hand. Xi’s breath caught a little when he pinned it to the wall near the top bar of the headboard. “I’m not a tie guy but I did fuck a tie guy so good he forgot half his clothes when he staggered out of here…” he explained while slowly looping the blue silk around Xi’s wrist and then the headboard, pulling it into a knot. He made sure to look at Xi’s face when he pulled the knot into place hard.

The flicker of excitement was almost violent, that wicked smirk pulling at his mouth. Fuck, He Tian loved that smirk. He kissed him hard while Xi tested the binding, pulling as if he meant to escape and moaning when he couldn’t. His free hand moved between them, wrapping fingers around He Tian’s erection and stroking.

He Tian broke the kiss for air, eyes narrowed on Xi. “Pick a damn word so I can fuck you.”

Xi looked up at him, still smirking. “You’d really stop now if I didn’t?”

He Tian slid back, out of his grip, on his knees near the middle of the bed, and waited.

Xi stared back, like he could call this bluff. When He Tian didn’t fold he clicked his teeth and twisted, reaching for his tied wrist like he might free himself. He Tian had expected that. He grabbed his legs and jerked him down the bed, stretching him out so he couldn’t reach anymore. Surprise, excitement and maybe the ghost of panic flushed across Xi’s face, those blue eyes flicking up to him again, breath fast.

“Pick a word,” He Tian said just as patiently, as though his own cock wasn’t painfully hard—as though his whole body wasn’t screaming to be buried inside him. But with the way they played, they needed a word. Something that could bring it to a real stop if it needed to.

Xi struggled, testing his binding and He Tian’s grip now. But the more he struggled and couldn’t get free, the more flustered and hot he got. He couldn’t even kick at him, legs still spread and He Tian’s fingers pressing into his thighs, holding them in place.

“Kn-Knock it off! Fucking, just…fuck me!” Xi tried to command.

He Tian just stared down at him, watching him squirm and struggle and take deep dragging breaths. “Can’t stop. Not sure you mean it. Need to pick a word.”

“Shit!” Xi finally gasped, like he was coming up for air. He swallowed hard, eyes glazed with need, and nodded defeat. “Fine. _Graveyard_.”

He Tian tried not to grin—not because he’d won. He’d known he would win. But because of the word he’d chosen. Most people picked colors or foods in his experience. “Okay.” He moved fast, keeping Xi stretched out when he moved his grip on one leg, lifting and folding it to Xi’s side.

With his other hand, he stroked his own cock, smearing himself in precum and spitting to add to the mess. He would have liked to have flipped Xi over and fucked him from behind like this, but he wasn’t ready to do that—to not be able to see his expression in this position, especially if he was chasing away nightmares. Just because he’d picked a safe word didn’t guarantee he’d use it.

The blond hissed fury and gripped his hair as soon as his head was close enough to reach again, twisting to strain He Tian’s neck to the side like he might shove him away. But he didn’t. He Tian grinned darkly and slid his hips closer, rubbing the head of his cock against Xi’s ass, pressing against that unprepared hole. He almost asked if he was sure he wanted it like this, but the answer was right there in Xi’s eyes—in the flash of his teeth and that wicked smirk. It was there in the way he clung to his hair, breathlessly waiting for it.

He Tian pushed and for one horrible second it seemed impossible, and then he was shoving his hips forward, cramming into him and willing his own vision to stay focused so he could drink in the way Xi’s eyes rolled and his body arched, straining against restraint and He Tian’s grip.

He Tian sank in until he was flush against his body, sucking down ragged breaths to keep from moving—to keep from just fucking cuming right then and there. He watched Xi struggle to breathe, mouth open, eyes still closed and body twitching. And then he finally dragged in air, body shaking with it like it revived him and he was more than happy to find himself stuffed. He Tian ran his tongue along Xi’s throat, still not moving yet, feeling the other man’s pulse beat at his skin, resisting the urge to add his teeth marks to last night’s bruises.

He waited another beat, until Xi snarled and inhaled to complain and tell him what to do next—and then he fucked the words right out of him. Moving in hard, unrelenting, thrusts. Xi kept that grip on his hair, and distantly He Tian wondered if he’d told him last night that he was into hair pulling.

Xi panted and gasped between moans. When he tried to turn his face into his own bicep, He Tian grabbed his jaw and held his head forward, forcing him to look back at him—to stay right fucking here with him. When Xi’s eyes locked with his, something shifted. He saw the surprise there in those blues, and then everything connected. It was almost overwhelming. Xi’s grip on his hair loosened, sliding from the back of his head to the back of his neck where he gripped tight and pulled He Tian’s face down to his, kissing him even as he struggled to breathe.

He Tian reached between them, palming Xi’s cock, rubbing his thumb against the swollen head before stroking him in time to his own thrusts. He drank in the sounds he wrung out of him and this time, he logged every fucking twitch into his memory. When Xi came, he bit into He Tian’s bottom lip, canine cutting flesh on one side so they both tasted blood—dragging He Tian over the edge with him.

They stayed like that for a while, floating back down and catching their breaths.

Xi eventually released his grip on the back of He Tian’s neck and He Tian extracted himself from his body. He untied him from the headpost, his hand red from the strain and wrist likely to bruise but it wasn’t torn. He rubbed the hand gently and when he felt Xi watching him, still sprawled and reveling in the aftermath, he kissed his wrist once before giving it back to him.

Xi rolled out of bed. “Later, I’m going to push you up against one of those big windows and fuck you until you until you scream…” he said so casually on his way to the bathroom.

He Tian grinned. Later? Later was good. “Do you want to sleep some more first or get food?”

“Food,” Xi said, flicking on the bathroom light and disappearing around the corner. “Does your fancy ass apartment have room service or do we have to go out?”

He Tian had pulled his underwear back up and risen to his feet, stretching. “My fancy ass apartment definitely has room service. I even have groceries delivered. We might never have to leave again.” And suddenly he liked that idea.

Xi clucked at him from inside the bathroom in disagreement. “That’s stupid. If we don’t leave, how will we get into bar fights or have sex in public places?”

He Tian clawed a hand through his hair, smiling. “Fuck, you’re perfect,” he muttered to himself.

“What?” Xi called.

“I said you’re sick in the head.”

Xi laughed. “Maybe. But you’re into it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might add a follow up chapter to this with what happens next from Xi's side of things.


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